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Skittles Vs Nidra

Negotiating with a child on the spectrum can be as difficult as disarming a bomb at times..

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I have to share a proud  moment I’ve just had with my Yoga Nidra.

Yoga Nidra is a beautiful relaxation practice that involves a systematic rotation of bringing awareness through the body.  Like all that we are learning with Being Yoga, the best way to learn is to practice, practice, practice at home. The first time when I attempted to lead my 8 year old son into a Yoga Nidra it was difficult to explain to him to bring awareness to each part of his body so I had to slowly touch each finger and toe etc to ask him to focus on them. This resulted in a fair bit of squirming (he is very ticklish), non-stop critiquing of my pressure (‘that hurts, thats too tickley’) and the odd request for a scratch ’cause you made my knee itchy.’ Not the desired effect I was after. I admitted defeat and he was still wide awake for an extra hour at bed time.
We recently had a UAE exchange student live with us from overseas and when we dropped Ahmed off to catch his flight home he told Dante he had left a surprise for him in the guest bedroom. Imagine my horror and Dante’s glee when we got home to discover a room that looked like Willy Wonka’s freaking Chocolate Factory. I told Dante he would need to ration his abundant supply – perhaps a few bites of chocolate here and a handful of lollies there…..for the next 10 years.
Last night I was distracted momentarily with household tasks at his bedtime when I suddenly spotted him on the couch with an espresso glass full of skittles. I just about pole-vaulted the kitchen bench to jump over and try to calmly explain ‘ok I need you to only eat 3 more or you are going to have a horrible time getting to sleep with all that sugar buzzing around your body’.  Negotiating with a child on the spectrum can be as difficult as disarming a bomb at times – especially if you interrupt something they really love doing.
He turned to me and said ‘oh but that’s not fair, you can just do that relaxin’ yoga and I’ll go to sleep’.
Feeling quietly confident of another epic fail I bundled him into bed, read a book then tried my yoga Nidra again, carefully explaining that he was to relax and not talk while I would do my best not to tickle him.
A miracle occurred – other than a couple of initial squirms and smirks I could see him slowing his breathe and relaxing. Twenty minutes of Nidra practice later I kissed him goodnight and tiptoed out of the room waiting for the usual ‘I have to have a water, I need to pee, I want to have another story, what time are you going to bed?’ etc but nope I was met with complete silence – bliss!!
Yoga Nidra = 1 – Skittles = 0

Though Shalt Not Judge…

“We try not to label everything right or wrong, good or bad, but realise that these are simply two sides of the same coin…”
Deepak Chopra

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I’ve had a week of really being challenged by other peoples vocal judgements. Because I am learning through my Yoga Journey to adopt a code of non-voilence in all situations I have had to really take a step back from other peoples harsh opinions.
So, there were a few situations that challenged me this week but the following one in particular stands out.
(A quick backstory for anyone who hasn’t read my earlier blogs – I have been through a pretty stressful time in my life the last year and with that came a bit of weight gain. Many times I have wished I was one of those people that lost weight when they are stressed but I’m not. I love food too much and I’m slowly re-teaching my self to love healthy food choices more).
I was particularly upset when a member of my family decided yesterday to make some insensitive and unapologetic remarks about my weight. The first feeling that emerged for me was anger and I immediately felt defensive and wanted to say something equally biting back.
But instead I chose to say ‘stress affects every body in very different ways’ and took myself for a walk on the beach instead. Ok, so to be honest – a few tears were shed at the beach but I was proud of my non-violent reaction.
And it’s so true – every body is just out there fighting a battle we know nothing about. I have no idea what is going on in that persons life that they would choose such hurtful words but I cannot take them to my heart.
Vanessa shared with us a teaching last week at Yoga from Deepak Chopra that says ‘never judge a man when you know not which gardens he has walked through or the gravestones he has tended’ and it really spoke to me. We were using it in the context of providing guidance to our future clients with an understanding that everyone’s physiology is very different but I can see so many ways this applies to daily life.
I have worked so, so hard to have a healthy view of myself and we are asked to go into each Yoga practice with a clear intent.  Mine is ‘strength, wisdom and self love’. I will choose love over absorbing someone else’s judgement. I will choose to continue on my positive journey without judgement.

 

A code of non-violence…

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So if you have been watching shows like Masterchef and the Bachelor by now I’m sure you’ve heard the word ‘journey’ bandied about a fair bit.

But here I go using it again – this journey into the Yoga lifestyle is ah-mazing!!
I’m already noticing changes within myself, I’ve lost a couple of kilos, my strength and balance are improving and I feel that I am getting just that little bit better at meditation each time – better able to switch off all the clutter and chatter and remain focussed on breath. We will be conducting our own Yoga Nidra (psychic sleep) to the class over the next few weeks which is very exciting – so we have  been learning how to talk our class through a beautifully guided meditation. Problem is I have fallen asleep each time so not sure how much of that is sinking in whoops ha ha. I did at least absorb that it is called Yoga Nidra not Yoga Ninja!!
We were asked to go home and practice on our family – I’m sure my teacher didn’t have my 8 year old with ADHD and Autism in mind as I copped non-stop critique and giggling instead of the sleepy relaxation I had hoped for!
Also, I’m starting to redefine the goals I have for myself with the course. We were asked by our Being Yoga teachers to consider what our ultimate intent throughout this journey is for ourselves and for me it’s really becoming about how I go about working through challenges in my life.
Yeah, I went through a lot in the last year but it might not be the last time in my life things are difficult. I want to approach future disappointments and low points without feeling that I am haphazardly and desperately ‘clawing my way back’ .
Instead, with what I am learning through Yoga I will start to live every day with a sense of calm, wisdom and self-love.
We talked at length during class about Raja Yoga – the Yoga of The Mind and specifically about Yamas. Yamas refer to the codes of moral conduct including that of Ahimsa – non-voilence. I guess you could see them as similar to the Ten Commandments.
We discussed in groups all different ways violence  (not just physical) occurs on a global scale, in our inter-personal relationships, and especially avoiding the types of violence we inflict against our selves through negative self-talk, envy, judgement and engaging in gossip. Yamas are effectively a discipline whereby we can learn to instead act with love and compassion to ourselves. This flows on to others that would hurt us with their words or behaviour, by being a positive influence for non-violence.
So how does that actually play out in real life? Well my dear reader I’m glad you asked because I got to put that new understanding to the test straight away – I had a particularly nasty conflict arise over the weekend.  Because I was already riding my blissful state of relaxation from a whole weekend of Yoga – instead of rising to the bait as I normally would – I chose to step back, see the situation for what it was, detach, ask myself questions of the situation, acknowledge that the situation upset me then let it all dissolve. I handled the situation calmly and diplomatically despite a little piece of the old me champing at the bit for a good old yelling match studded with f-bombs.
Of course we spent an equal amount of time learning the history and moral codes as we did correcting alignment for downward dog and learning about the muscular skeletal structure of our body, it’s a pretty intense amount of information to soak in – I thought it was interesting to be told that the derivative of Yoga is ‘to yoke’  ie. the relationship of mind and body yoked together.
It was a full weekend of practicing and learning with my course that had me walking away feeling very calm, grateful and actually a little bit taller – at 5″2 every little bit helps!!
PS Meet the beautiful crew I am training with ❤

Taking the next step in Faith…

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I had the first day of my Yoga course with Being Yoga on Saturday!

Although it was a really rough start to the morning – I made the mistake of timing the start of the course with moving house so I was up late packing boxes the night before and then, when I finally got to bed, I was too excited to sleep.I woke up tired, cranky and started an argument with my ex on the phone about something trivial just as I was exiting my car at the studio. I was so distracted I nearly whacked a lady with my car door not once but twice!! Just my luck she was pulling out a yoga mat from her front seat whilst I was mid-rant at my ex on the phone.  So it was no surprise to discover I was about to spend the next 6 months studying alongside her – eek! I was unbelievably relieved to find out she was lovely and accepted my apologies and offerings of ‘this is exactly why I’m here – to find my zen!!’

The course was amazing – Michael is an incredible, down to Earth and funny teacher. You will be amused to learn that we managed to spend half the day just learning to stand on our own two feet – or Tadasana. A primary focus of Yoga is learning to work our bodies into a relationship to the Earth and it’s so interesting to discover how the simple exercise of standing can affect us. It can create feelings of either confidence or insecurity, pleasure and pain, apathy, fight or flight. For a really cool Ted Talk by Amy Cuddy on this subject follow this link: body language

My group or ‘Sangha’ (likeminded individuals) were all just really warm and lovely people as well – I felt so at home with them. The breaks were such an interesting reflection of the quality of life my new friends are searching for as well. We all sat around chatting and eating healthy, unprocessed food, sipping green tea and there wasn’t a cigarette, junk food item or smartphone in sight – the last fact was a real eye opener for me. It made me realise that all of these 19 other people wanted to really be present in the moment and connect with the people around them – so unusual in a world run by technology and social media.
I just felt such confidence that with this group I am going to learn what I am truly hoping to learn from Yoga the most – the art of being present.

I think there will be times when doing the course is going to be very challenging wether physical or mental and my trust in myself may fail. I am, however, reassured that I can expect a supportive network from my Sangha, teachers and Yoga itself.

I love, love, love the encouragement Michael shared with us in the form of a Martin Luther King quote:

“Just take the next step in Faith”

And just so you know I have already been a much calmer version of myself since my hissy-fit Saturday morning. I can totally vouch for myself because moving house usually brings out ‘chaotic stress-mess Anna’. But I’m just so darn happy about this new step of faith in my life I can honestly tell you I haven’t felt this good in such a very, very long time.

Namaste

Blessings

I am becoming stronger every day because of what I am overcoming

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One of the most amazing things about embracing Yoga is mindfulness – for me that is being present and grateful. I have so, so much to be grateful for when I stop and make myself aware.

I found myself yelling at the TV the other week when Sydney and Melbourne got hit by those awful storms. There was a woman on the news looking at her swimming pool that had been torn from her beachfront backyard and dumped on the shoreline below. The reason I was yelling at the TV was because she was sobbing and saying ‘this is the worst possible thing that could happen to anyone’.
I was immediately angry and thought “Walk in my shoes at the moment, at least you could afford a beachfront mansion with a swimming pool in the first place.” And then I realised I behaving in a similarly ungracious way.  (side note – I am sure this woman was genuinely distressed and perhaps just worded her comments badly).

I was thinking my life was over and I was in the most terrible place I could be when it was very far from the truth. I instead calmed down and started being mindful of all the things I could be grateful for – even when I felt at my worst.

I have the most beautiful son in the world
I have an abundance of family and friends who love me unconditionally
I have a roof over my head that is not a cardboard box
I live in paradise (the Sunshine Coast)
I have experienced amazing generosity from people who out of the goodness of their hearts have found a way to make my and my sons life just that little bit easier
I have my health – and it’s only going to become better
I have access to clean water and healthy food
I am becoming stronger every day because of what I am overcoming

What are you grateful for today?

The Journey Begins…

When I remember to just be still and present in my own life it’s easier to see the reality of a situation and to see all the things to be grateful for.

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There’s a reason most people close to me would describe my personality in one word – ‘bubbly’. I am high energy, I’m loud, I love to giggle, I’m never still and I’m always rushing between one thing to the next. Those even closer to me (like my extremely patient and wonderful best friend Amber) have been urging me for many years to look further into yoga & meditation as a means to calm my busy little mind.
Sure I’ve dabbled in yoga classes and meditation over the years but never really had the patience to commit.
So why now?
I’ve been through a particularly difficult year in my life. At many times I wondered if at 36 I was having my mid-life crisis a little early. (Side note, if anyone knows what a women’s mid-life crisis is supposed to look like please comment below!) I ended a relationship to the man I though I would marry,  dissolved a business partnership, went through challenging medical issues with my son, piled on 12kg with the stress and at one stage I was literally couch-surfing and penniless. This all led to some pretty destructive behaviour that really challenged everyone who was in my life to choose to either keep on loving me or walk away.
Some did walk away.
Throughout it all I realised that when you hit rock bottom the only way is up and something really had to change in my life.
My son and I were blessed with so much generosity from friends and family on our journey up. And one particular friend – Mark – who is a life coach, forced me to focus on what my greatest challenge was going to be if  I wanted to succeed in life. It was self-worth. Believing that I am worthy of greater things.
I find it easy – perhaps it’s the creative within me – to have a thousand thoughts going on in my mind at a single time – I am a self-confessed ‘over-thinker’. And the problem with that is that of these thousands of thoughts many of them consist of negatives.
When I remember to just be still and present in my own life it’s easier to see the reality of a situation and to see all the things to be grateful for. Not only do I now believe that I am worthy of self-care, but I am worthy of finding more moments of stillness. I am worthy of great physical, mental and spiritual strength.
That is why I have chosen to immerse myself in yoga. And my love for teaching and craving for a new skill set motivated me to sign up to classes in order to become an instructor. I cannot wait to be sharing with others what yoga is already bringing to my life.
I’m studying with Being Yoga and I am so excited for the experience.
I am most defiitely not putting my camera away – I definitely see avenues to have both Yoga and my first love – Photography in my life simultaneously.
Of course it won’t all be serious folks – I do love a laugh and trust me there have been some reasons to giggle already.
For example – I have already caused a few polite sniggers among friends confusing the term ‘downward dog’ with the delicious but extremely unhealthy term ‘dagwood dog’….it could be a long journey friends but I do hope you will come a long for the ride 🙂
Namaste